Not without him
by Destiel1993
Summary: Sam had seen his brother die too many times to count, and he's not going to take it anymore. Will Dean found out how much he really means to Sam! M rated for later chapters
1. Him

Sam's Pov

It had been like any Saturday morning, waking up in the passenger seat of the Impala on a road trip to the lead that got last night. The night before they had found a case in the newspaper saying that around five people have had their throats ripped out and their blood drained in Toledo Ohio. Sam rubbed his eyes still groggy, hoping he could wake him self a bit more. They left their bunker so quickly last night leaving Castiel all by him self knowing he would be safe in there. Even though he had been there before alone, but that had only been for about two days.

Looking out the window thinking about how lucky he is to have his brother by his side no matter what they had been through. He began to think about how many times he had seen his brother die or disappear from his sight. He regretting leaving Dean with his father by himself while he went off to college, but he knew it was the best thing for him to do then. He never really meant to find Jess and end up dating her it just happened.

Though when Dean showed back up that night saying their father was missing during a hunting trip his heart ached against his chest. Not for the fact their father could be dead but seeing Dean again made his heart ache. Thinking back on all those times they spent together trying to act like he was mad at Dean hurt him and now he is glad that they were back to how things were, or at least thats how he acted around him.

Sam jolted back to the real world when he felt the car stopped at the motel they were going to be staying at, He looked over at Dean giving him a slight smile. Dean smiled at him making his Heart skip a beat, he can still remember the first time he felt his way towards Dean. Though right now was not the time for remembering such a thing.

"Hey Sammy you alright in there?" Dean smirked at him

"Uh, Yea I was just thinking about this case is all I mean come on another Vamp nest!" He hid his nervousness from him

"Are you sure Sammy?" Dean was Questioning him

"Yea I mean it I am fine!" He rolled his eyes at him then opened his car door and got out

Following Sam's lead Dean turned off the Impala and got out, He walked into the motel and headed towards the front desk. There stood a women probably around Deans age. She had sandy brown hair and green eyes if sam didn't know better he'd say she could be a sister of theirs, and knowing their dad she could actually be a sister of theirs. Her name tag said Maddie and her smile said a whole lot more.

"Hello my Brother and I are looking for a room with two beds to book for a couple weeks" Sam said with a Smile that could melt any girls heart

Maddie's face light up like a tomato and she started to twirl her hair around her finger as she started looking for a room for them. Sam looked over at Dean who for once was not eye fucking the only woman in the room. He started to wonder what Dean was thinking but before he could ask Maddie found them a room.

"I found one room but there's a problem... The only room open is a single with a king size bed" She said blushing

"We'll take it!" Dean leaned and handed her a card

"Uh Sure Mr. Masters!" She took his card and swiped his card smiling then hands it back

Sam looked at Dean with a raised eyebrow then followed him to the room. unlocking the door and walking in this had to be the best motel room they have ever had. He couldn't understand why Dean agreed to have this room. Sam looked over at him as he locked the door.

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_Author's note:_ Sorry that chapters ended so weridly but I will added more soon


	2. Are you nuts!

Dean's Pov

He had been thinking about this for a long time, he and Sam had been through a lot in all the years they had been hunting. Though the last four or five years had been the worst, His death then Sam's. He hated the time that satan had taken Sam's body, it wasn't his brother that beat him until he could not see or think straight or kill Cas. It also wasn't his brother when Cas brought him back from hell even though it looked like him it was soulless version of his brother walking around.

This is his brother the one he had wanted for so long. He wanted to hold him and tell him how much he loved him. How when he was with Lisa and Ben all he could think about was holding him in his arms. Now that they had a place to live that they could call their own he'd hope they could get closer, things never happened the way he planned. The angels falling and Sam almost dying and Cas becoming a human. It seems like things were starting to go back to normal, if you could call how he feels for Sam normal. They were on cases again and sam was feeling much better.

He was just so happy to that he and Sam were still together this time and still in one piece. The drive to the motel was probably the most peaceful drive they have had in a very long time. He knew he had to do something about these feelings for Sammy but he couldn't stop them even if he really wanted to which he didn't. Dean didn't care anymore of what people thought of him and his lust for his younger brother. The way people looked at him before never stopped him even if they didn't know his deep dark secret.

He knew it was a sign when the motel only had one room open and it only had one big bed, Before he knew it he had payed for it and walking down the hall to their room. Looking over at his baby brother he could feel his heart starting to do flips. Locking the door behind them as they stepped into their room, he smiled at Sam.

"Uh Dean, um are we really going to share a bed?" Sam nervously looked down at the floor.

"Yea why do you ask?" Dean stepped closer to Sam

"Uh well I mean were two fully grown males and sharing a bed would be weird wouldn't it?" Sam looked up seeing Dean was closer to him.

"Well Sammy we used to share a bed when we were kids so it's not that different if you think about it" Dean was trying his best not to push Sam against the wall and kiss him.

"...Ok I guess it is fine!" Sam Looked very nervous looking back at Dean and then the floor.

"It's gonna be fine Sammy" He walked closer and patted his brother's shoulder then walked away making sure to stop him self.

Walking into the bathroom he pulled his phone out of his pocket and dial up Castiel. He waited for a long time but no answer. He called him back two more times before he finally got an answer.

"Cas I need to talk to you about that thing I told you about!" He started to pace back and forth.

"Dean what do you mean... Oh the Sam thing am I right?" Castiel Asked Him

"Yes I feel like I'm about to lose it, my need it getting worst to me." Dean started sweating uncontrollably

"I think maybe it is best if you just tell him the truth Dean. I am sure he'll understand" Castiel was staring at his laptop screen searching for any information on Sam and Deans case.

"ARE YOU NUTS!" Dean was starting to worry

"I am serious Dean its about time you tell him or you'll end of hurting him!" Castiel said finally giving up and shutting the lid

"Cas your not helping!" He was starting to get angry why would he say such a thing

"Dean I have to go." Cas replied

Before Dean could say another word Castiel hung up the phone. Dean threw down his phone breaking it into a million pieces.

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_Author's note:_ I hope you like this chapter there is more to come!


	3. Sammy

Sam's Pov

He had heard yelling Dean into his phone calling what he thinks is Castiel, nuts. Then there was a loud sound it sounded like something smashing into pieces. The only thing He could think of that could have done that was Dean's phone. Deciding he should knock on the door and find out what's the matter with Dean.

"Hey Dean are you ok in there? I thought I heard something break!" Sam called to him hoping he'd answer him

"I'm Fine..." Dean looked into the mirror of the motel Bathroom while trying to calm down.

"Dean you're lying to me and I know, I mean we've know each other we're brothers." Sam said as he started to pick the lock.

"Ok I'm lying sue me sammy!" Dean started to hear Sam picking the lock.

"Ok then Dean tell me the truth why were you yelling at Cas and why did you Break your phone.

Sam had finally got the door open, seeing Dean sweating and Shaking. Walking up to him he placed a hand on Dean's forehead. It was clammy and full of sweat, there was no fever. He smiled up at Dean then looked down and saw the mess that he had made with his phone.

"Dean, Please just tell me the truth. Whats going on in that head of yours that you can't tell me!" He said looking like a lost little puppy

"Sam if I tell you, you will hate me or even look at me differently and I don't know if I can handle that I mean things were just starting to go back to being normal." Dean looked down at his feet

"Dean I could never Hate you! You mean a lot to me, I mean look at us we have died for each other. I will never hate you or even look at you differently" Sam's heart started beating fast

"Sam I don't think you understand what I mean by this, I mean this could change everything!" Dean was now staring directly in Sam's eyes

Sam became closer to Dean pulling him into a hug shushing his brother. Dean held onto him shaking still. Sam looked at his brother's face seeing the stress and worry washing over Dean's face.

"Please just tell me Dean I'm sure its not as bad as you think it is" Sam softly said to him worrying about him

Dean didn't reply all he did was pull Sam into a lip bruising passionate kiss. Before Sam knew it he was kissing Dean back with just as much passion as Dean was giving him. Sam was starting to moan into the kiss when suddenly Dean pulled away. Almost pushing Sam away from him, But Sam wasn't having any of that.

"Dean don't push me away!" Sam pleaded with him

"Sammy can't you see I'm sick I shouldn't have done that! It wasn't right I just forced my self onto you" Dean looked as though he was going to cry

He hated seeing Dean this way and the only think he could think of was to show Dean how much he really loved him. Pushing Dean against the bathroom wall he kisses Dean once more with more passion then before. Grinding against Dean feeling how hard he was. Dean groaned the sweetest Sound Sam have ever heard.

"Mmm Sammy, That feels so good" Dean was blushing madly

"I love you Dean! I have wanted you for as long as I can remember I need you Dean!" Sam said leaning in to Kiss Dean's neck.

"Sammy, I love you too!" Dean's body was shaking with need

Sam pushed harder against Dean Grinding against him with more force. Nipping and sucking on the crook of Dean's neck leaving a mark. Hearing Dean's moans was music to his ears. He had always imagined what this would be like to let dean know how he really felt. This was better then anything he could have come up with him his own mind.

Picking Dean up letting him wrap his legs around his waist Sam walked them back to the bed laying Dean down gently. Looking down at Dean he was a god looking back at him. Oh how he couldn't wait to see the rest of Dean. They had seen each other naked but it was in a brother way. Not the way sam had always hoped to see him, Not like now.

"Dean I want to see all of you, I need to see all of you" Sam slowly began to undress Dean

He removed Dean's shoes first, the his socks moving his way to Dean's shirt. He wanted to save the best for last. His eye gazed over his older brother's toned body, leaning down he kissed his neck. He started kissing a trail down Dean's chest stopping just above the line where his pants laid.

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_Author's Note:_ Sorry for the cliff hanger but I hope you like this chapter.


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